A Night and A Day
by TiKiElf
Summary: Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo haven't been friends since 9th grade. But can it all change in a night and a day of their last Senior yr?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters are not mine. The song "You Wish" is performed by Lalaine and is not mine either. But I'd like to think that the effort I put into this is mine!

Summary: Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo are not friends and haven't been for a while. But in the last night and last day of their High School lives, events and feelings will unfold to bring them back together again. And maybe, bring two people even closer to each other's heart. 

Author's note: This story will have specifically three chapters and each will represent a certain time frame. I like to work with songs, so expect all of the chapters to be accompanied with lyrics. And also expect more L/G in later chapters. But for now, try to be patient if the updates are very slow because my muse takes a very long vacation in between time. If you have comments and reviews, please drop them in because I love getting them! And now… on with the show!

    It happened the night before Graduation Day. I still don't understand how it happened though, but I had felt it. I had felt it long before the impending end of High School, and I had felt it the night of Senior Prom. It was… like a sixth sense – an instinct – that creeps up my spine and tickle the hair at the back of my neck. And at that night, it had felt like a rubber band that had been stretched for four years, and almost reaching four miles, had snapped and pulled back to it's original shape again. And suddenly, everything was almost like it had been in Junior High, before innocence were taken away by our age and the biggest fear at that time was if Ethan Craft was ever going to noticed me. 

   The night before Graduation day was also the night of Claire Miller's party. It was the event of the year, next to the Senior Prom, and all the seniors were invited to be there; geeks and freaks, beauty queens or not, everybody just had to show up. And I was expected to show up with Ethan Craft, but a last minute leg injury had Ethan going to the party with a wheelchair, and I ended up making an entry with Kate Sanders.

   Can you believe it? After two years of spatting and loathing each other in 7th and 8th grade, we ended up being good friends again in freshman year. You see, the first day of High School wasn't so bad for me as Gordo might say it is, because I was swept off my feet! Literally. Maybe they had all heard of the rumors of me becoming famous while in Rome, but I was quickly taken under the wings of the popular crowd. I was flabbergasted! Some of them had even noted my small career as a model, a superstar's (Frankie's) girlfriend, a small part in Aaron Carter's video clip and as a rhythmic gymnast. Apparently, Kate and Claire's popularity didn't follow them from Junior High, and they had became my 'entourage' for a while. Well, that was before Claire had breast implants though and had became the bitchy popular self she was. But Kate had stuck by me and it was like the old days again, before she went for that summer camp in 6th grade. 

   And life for me at High School wasn't too bad. I'm popular, a cheerleader, an editor for the school magazine, and also active in the school plays either as a lead or a scriptwriter. Yes, my life is almost perfect… if I hadn't lost my two best friends, Miranda Sanchez and David Gordon.

   I guess when you're in High School, there are always prices to be paid whenever something good happens to you, and I regret to say that I had paid for all I have now with their friendships. It's not that I became snotty or bitchy or anything. It's just that we grew apart, something that we weren't prepared to accept in Junior High. And we are constantly busy with our new knot of friends. I have the popular crowd to contend with, and Miranda had set up her own band and had became a hot local favorite. And I had constantly seen Gordo in the hallways either with Tudgeman and the future Ivy-leaguers or with the school's theater/drama/filming club. In fact, the last time I had spent that much time with both of them was when Gordo was directing a school musical last year, and Miranda was in it too. But at least we're still friends, in a very limited way. It's almost like an unofficial rule that we would at least say 'Hi' to each other if we happened to walk through the same hallway at the same time. But I think we would always try to avoid each other by turning around and walk the other way if we see the other on the opposite end. 

    And usually, that's how we always acted around each other. But that night, things were… different. I was actually in the kitchen at that time, raiding Claire's fridge, trying to find a water bottle since all the drinks that was available at the party was either a spiked fruit punch or beers - and I am not a very good drinker. Plus, I promised my mom that I'd come home sober. I found the last water bottle at the very back of the top shelf, grabbed it and had spun around only to crashed with another body. The water bottle had slipped out of my grip and spilled on the floor. I would've mumbled a quick apology to the other person, if I hadn't needed the water desperately. But I had, and I ended up blowing my temper.

   The other person had turned around and I was prepared to put my angry face on – the one I had practiced so hard to be perfected – when I saw the most familiar blue-gray eyes. The anger had quickly vanished, as I took a step back to look at the other person better, and I saw him – Gordo. I gapped like a goldfish, trying to find something harsh to say to him, when he had bent down and picked up the water bottle.

  " Sorry about this. I didn't know it was you." He shook his head sheepishly as he handed me back the water bottle. I took it gladly with trembling hands, before giving it a little shake. It was empty. And I was furious.

  " Well, sorry just doesn't make up for this. This is the last bottle! And I need the water!"

   He looked at me strangely, his eyes puzzled, as he took the bottle from my hand, maybe fearing that I might throw it to his head.

  " Why don't you use the tap? There's plenty of water there?" 

    I didn't know why I was over reacting, but my fists shook beside me. If the bottle wouldn't do, at least these will.

   " Have you ever heard of bacteria? The water from the tap is not filtered. Who knows what kind of disease the water is carrying!"

   Wait. Since when do I care about my hygiene? My thoughts were interrupted by small laughter, and I saw Gordo laughing.

   " Since when were you hygienic? Plus, I'm sure Claire have a filter here somewhere." 

   I could feel my face getting red, but I'm not sure if it's out of embarrassment or anger. The laughter had died and I felt Gordo's eyes on me. It's strange that we're in the same room and standing together this close and him looking at me that way, as if we've been best friends throughout the four years of High School. And suddenly, I'm scared to even look up to him again. 

  I turned on my heels, mumbled a 'whatever' and was about to head back to the party when his voice stopped me. 

  " Hey Lizzie. You know I'm sorry right?" 

   I looked back at him, noticing the tone of his voice, almost like he was apologizing for other things as well. And for a brief moment, I saw him – not the hotshot director wannabe 'David' anymore – but the Gordo I knew and had grew up with. And I saw him, _my_ Gordo. 

   I gave up a little smile, understandingly.

  "Of course Gordo. And I'm sorry to." 

   He smiled broadly in return, and knowing that he was satisfied with my answer, I turned back around; my hands were on the swinging door and were about to push it when I saw another hand pushing it as well. I stopped in mid-trek, almost confused. But before I could get a chance to retaliate, the swinging door were pushed open and I had felt a hand in mine, and it were pulling me through the crowd of the party. People were starting to stare at me and some had even cheered and clapped, but I had looked back nervously. 

   " Come on, Miranda's going to perform tonight."

       I narrowed my eyes pointedly at the source of the voice, and would've stopped and just pulled my hands away. But speaking the truth, I was curious to see Miranda perform and I like the feel of Gordo's hand in mine. It felt like when we were young, and used to run together hand in hand towards the swing. 

      By the time we had reached the room, it was packed and the band had started a tune. We had hurried through to the front corner of the room, where I saw a glimpse of Kate waving me over.

      " Where were you? Claire was just about to bite my head off just now," Kate shouted over the music, before noticing Gordo beside me, and her eyes trailed to our still entwined hands. I broke off the contact and was about to protest, but the music blared even louder, signaling the start of a song and I saw Miranda standing up front on the little stage, in all her glory.

   *~_ You wake up one day and everything changes_

_You cross the line and there's no turning back_

_You're trapped between the love and the danger_

_It's hard to lead your heart to open up to that _~*

    Despite worrying about what Kate might think of me and Gordo, I swayed slightly to the music, trying to listen to the lyric as something I might've heard somewhere before. I knew Miranda had always written and sung her own stuff, but somehow I just can't shake off the feeling of déjà vu. 

    *~ _You Wish,_

Every time a star falls from the sky 

_You Wish,_

_That he feels the way you feel inside_

_You hoped and you pray,_

_Keep it all locked away,_

_As you see yourself lost in his kiss._

_You Wish _~*

    I gasp as the chorus blared through the room and suddenly, the feeling of déjà vu was explained. Of course I knew this words, because I had written it! But that had been a long time ago, when I had first returned home from Rome and had confronted Miranda about Gordo. Well, at that time, I was still confused about a lot of things, including my feelings for Gordo and to vent myself up, I had written this poem and had later let Miranda read it and keep it. She thought that it would be great as a song, especially since she had gave up her violin and had traded it for a guitar instead. But I had dismissed that idea almost immediately, fearing that if it ever gets the chance to be converted into a song, Gordo might figure me out. 

*~_ You think you know just how to read him,_

_And then he throws you right off track._

_And all you know is how much you need him_

_Time will tell you where his heart is really at _*~

       I laughed to myself, reminisce of the exact same moment that I had written those words. How ironic my life could be, that the poem I had feared to be adapted into a song seems to be entertaining the crowd at the party tonight – and that Gordo is listening to it too! 

     *~ _You Wish,_

Every time a star falls from the sky 

_You Wish,_

_That he feels the way you feel inside_

_You hoped and you pray,_

_Keep it all locked away,_

_As you see yourself lost in his kiss._

_You Wish_

_Late at night,_

_You wander what he's thinking of_

_It's killing you_

_And all that's true_

_Is you're falling deeper in love._

_You Wish ~*_

    As the bassist plucked the final chord, the crowd erupted into cheers. I joined the crowd by clapping my loudest and beaming proudly for Miranda, as she accepted the applause gracefully and walked off the stage. Without even thinking what I was about to do, I had followed Gordo and Kate to the side of the stage, where Miranda was the center of attention in a circle of 20-something people. 

    " Congratulations Sanchez. That song was awesome! Did you write it yourself?" Kate had spoken up first, shaking Miranda's hand and using her extra-nice tone of voice (I had been coaching her to be polite) that always comes out as fake. I noticed Miranda fidgeted a little before catching her nervous glance.

   " Thanks. I, uh… had a lot of help from someone on the song," she had replied, quickly turning her attention to Gordo.

    " David! I didn't know my music was up to your Rat-pack standard?" 

     I had mentally kicked myself. I'd almost forgot that Gordo doesn't go by his Junior High name anymore. He's David now; David the Director, and I'd just called him Gordo a while ago. I winced to myself. It must've brought up old memories. 

    Gordo shrugged his shoulder casually.

   " I was just supporting an old friend. It doesn't mean that I'll buy your album."

   Miranda gave him an exasperated look and had playfully punched him. I can't believe he still calls her a friend, and I can't believe how casual they are acting towards each other when I haven't even thought twice about them. 

   I had caught her eyes long before she was finished with Gordo, and had sucked in a deep breath. This is it. After four years of not having any in depth conversation, it'll happen now.

   " Hey," I squeaked nervously, crossing my arms in various ways until I have nothing else to do but play with my hair unintentionally. Kate threw me a look from behind Miranda's shoulder, and I know that look. It's a look that warns me whenever I was obviously acting nervous.

   " Hey." 

   " So… cool song." 

   Miranda leaned closer to me and had whispered in a barely audible voice.

    " Well, you should know. You wrote it." 

   I can't help but smile broadly, biting the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from laughing at the irony. And Miranda had smiled back, in that old secretive fashion whenever we shared a secret and nobody else, including Gordo, knows about it. But her expression had quickly morphed into worry, and my smile faltered.

   " You don't mind, do you?" 

   This time, I had laughed out loud, and received stares from both Gordo and Kate.

   " Of course not! We've grown up now and it doesn't matter to me anymore."

   " Really?" And her smile broadens again. 

   But truthfully, I was battling with my own logic in my mind. I know that it was a thing of a past now, and I'm not as naïve as I was years ago. When the first shed of reality hit me in my early freshman year, I had dismissed my inner conflict on the subject of Gordo as just a disillusioned crush. Maybe we've been too good to each other to mistaken it as a liking more than friends should be. So, it doesn't matter anymore, right? Right?

   Taking his cue to interrupt, Gordo had stepped forward to our line of views.

   " What are you two talking about? Are you keeping secrets from me again?" 

   We both tried to keep a straight face, denying his remark even though that was the closest call we've ever had.

    " This will not be a weepy reunion, will it? Because I'm not wearing my waterproof mascara, and crying will just be ruining my make up."

    I rolled my eyes. Hand it to Kate to say the most obvious thing that is happening and gloss her speech with a make-up talk. 

    And that's when I heard it; the sound of rubber band snapping to its original form. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All characters are not mine. The song "Here's to the Night" is sung by Eve 6 and which is not mine either. So don't sue me!

Author's note: Whew! Took me long enough… and I'm just glad this chapter is over with. Now, all I have to worry is the next and last chapter. My style of writing in this chapter is quite different and it's long and detailed account of almost every event. So, if it's too long and boring just tell! And yes, reviews and comments are all appreciated!

    Until that night, a lot of things were a complete mystery to me like - why me, Miranda and Gordo didn't even try to speak to each other or try to work our friendships out when we were slowly drifting apart to our own groups of new friends in High School. Or why Miranda and Gordo had acted so cold and unforgiving towards Kate in Junior High when it's pretty obvious that under those blonde hair, cheerleading outfits and popularity, she is the same Kate that we had grew up with. Or the fact, why Gordo still didn't tell me that he liked, liked me in 8th grade when I had known about it through Kate and had been waiting for him to say it to my face. Or the reason why I had gave up the biggest chance to be a singer, rich and famous in Rome when I knew deep inside that eventually my family and friends would support me if it had been what I really wanted. 

   But that night, I found all the answers to solve the mysteries. And until now, I find it so hard to believe that it came from the most unexpected person and at the most unexpected time. 

   It had started at the party, then had moved on to my bed, where I found myself hours later, spread on the bed sheet, still in my party dress and staring unseeingly into the darkness. I was deep in thoughts, about the party and what had happened. I was on talking terms again with my two ex-best friends and it just seems unbelievable yet so perfect that my world make sense again, and the puzzle falls back to place. But, I must guiltily confess that I do have my doubts though. 

   It had came to me right after Claire had kicked everyone out of her house at midnight so she can get her beauty sleep done for Graduation Day and I was driving a drunk Ethan and Tudgeman, with Kate on the passenger's seat. I remember smiling a lot in the car 'till a point that Kate had told me to shrug it off. But the truth was, I was just too happy to be talking to my friends again and even Kate's sour mood couldn't brush off on me. But I was wrong… way wrong. I don't really know what had triggered it though but suddenly, I had asked myself; will we still be talking to each other again by tomorrow? Or will they just dismiss it as an act of a drunken stupor? Kate didn't have much says about it though but even as I lay in my bed, in the darkness, those questions bothered me. I can't really expect us to be best friends again straight away but I was hoping that maybe we can salvage what we used to have. When we use to have a three-way phone calls and just hanging out at the Digital Bean. 

   I sighed, rolled over in my bed to reach for the bedside table to turn on the lamp. And my eyes caught sight of red flashing numbers on my digital alarm clock and I almost groaned. It was 2 a.m., I'm still not sleeping, worrying myself over silly questions and thoughts that shouldn't exist at this time of night, and I have to be up and ready for Graduation Day by 8. Thinking it over in my head, I let out a real groan and rolled back in my bed to stare at the ceiling. There's nothing really fascinating though about the old, gray-pink ceiling but somehow for that night, I had found myself counting the numbers of visible cracks. 17 in total and there was also a patch of unpainted wall and an odd discolored shape that looks like someone's face had smacked there. (And if I hadn't known any better, it actually looked like a side of Dad's face.)

   I jumped off my bed, frustrated at the lack of sleep and was starting to worry that I might develop bags under my eyes for the next day. With nothing much else to do, I turned to my last resort. I walked over to the window to turn on the radio, even though I'm taking a big risk of waking up my parents. But I desperately need something to take my boredom away and to waste the hours with until I could sleep, and maybe some music can soothe me into a deep slumber. I turned it on and almost immediately, a song blared through the speaker. I couldn't really identify the song though but it was a nice one, and I had let it filled the silence of the room as I stayed by the window, peeking out into the backyard out of habit. 

   And there I saw him; standing in my backyard and pacing two-steps up and front, talking to himself as if he's facing a debate and rubbing his hands together, his shoulder stiff and hunched over a little, looking like he's trying to warm himself up. Of course, my first reaction of seeing him standing there, in my backyard at 2 o'clock in the morning, was of surprise. But… there's that feeling again and this time, it's different because this time it was somehow… had been stranger. It had suddenly became extra ticklish at the nape of my neck, and a shiver ran through my entire body. And there's that feeling of uneasiness that squirms in my stomach, as if I had eaten something bad. And for a moment I was overwhelm by it that I became scared. But those thoughts were quickly chased out of my head when I saw him shivering outside and my curiosity won the best of me. I slipped on my slippers, grab a jacket for myself, and a light cover for him and had tiptoed down the stairs and through the house to the back porch. I crept out of the backdoor, trying to go unnoticed and had walked over to where he was pacing - still deeply talking to himself. 

   " Gordo?" I talked in a hushed voice, trying not to scare him too much. He must've not seen me coming at all because I saw him jumped slightly and had looked up immediately at my window, before realizing where I was and had turned to face me.

   And he stood there, looking at me with wide eyes like the time he was caught red handed trying to take a bite of my mom's freshly baked cookies when she had said earlier that we were to never touched it. He fumbled with his mouth and trying to get his body to cooperate smoothly as I looked on amused, savoring the moment that Gordo were speechless, before the oddity of the situation caught up to me. And I looked back at him under narrowed eyelids and creased forehead.

   " Gordo, what are you doing here?" 

    I was wrong to expect Gordo to stay that way for long because the next thing I saw was a totally different Gordo; someone with confidence and proud of it, with his back straight and had looked at me warmly like all the times when we were friends and the same old crooked smile that I had grew up recognizing without doubting it. And I knew when he had smiled and I had smiled back, that I was looking at the old Gordo. Not that old in many ways but… at least I know this Gordo and not some 'David'.

   " I was just… checking up on you. Just see if you're up to talking."

    I looked at him strangely, caught off guard at his blunt openness yet a part of me was longing to do just that; to recall a part of my past when we could talk without the presence of awkwardness.

   " Umm… yeah. Sure."

   And without any gesturing or hints, we sat on the steps of the porch – the same spot we had sat on so many times before. A chill breeze blew and I wrapped my jacket tighter, for the first time noticing that I'm still holding on to the cover. I nudged the cover towards him and he had accepted it appreciatively. 

     And I just watched him from the corner of my eyes, as he threw the cover over his back and pulled it closer around him. There was a long silence before it was broken with the sound of his monotone voice. 

    "Lizzie?"

    "Hmm?"

     I was growing tired but that had never been a reason for me to stop a conversation, especially when it came in a rare form of my ex-best friends. 

    "Lizzie."

    His voice was persistent to catch my attention and I obliged by glancing his way. He had looked troubled, as if running the words that he was about to say through his mind, possibly doubting to even mention it. 

    " Have you…? Have you ever thought of just walking up to us – me and Miranda – and just… talk? You know, like when we were still friends."

    I flinched at the use of past tense when associating the 'friends' part but I couldn't blame him. We _were_ friends. But that was before the party had happened and I'd like to think that we _are_ friends again.

    " I guess so… sometimes when Kate is being unbearably shallow. I guess… yes; I have thought of it but I was always too chickened to actually do it."

    " Why?"

     I was surprised at his retort. I thought that with him being so smart and all, he would figure it out the reason already.

     "Well… by that time, you guys have your own crowd. I didn't want to intrude like a total busybody. And… I was just plain scared that you guys don't want to be friends again. You should know how High School could change people."

     "Yeah… but you should also know that 15 years of friendships – 10 years in Miranda's case – means more than that."

      By this time, I was furious. How dare he pushed that facts into my face when he's partly to blame too.

     " I don't see you doing your part either."

     He had looked away and I know that he's aware of his own fault – even before he had brought it up. 

     " Sorry."

     Another long silence had followed and I took this time to try to calm my nerves down and somehow – as if by nature – I became aware of how close I had been sitting beside Gordo; so close that our skin was almost touching. And I had almost forgotten how I had missed being near him so much, talking to him just about everything and holding him without making myself feel so bad or awkward. And by remembering all those, I fought the urge to just reach out my hands and hold his in mine because I know things will never be like it was before. Because things are different now, and we are different people in different circumstances.

   I guess I was so deep in thoughts because the next thing I knew, there was a light tap on my shoulder and that Gordo was watching me. And it was in the way his eyes looked at me that I was reminded of that night – the night of the Murder Mystery party.

  I tore my eyes from his blue-gray ones and had silently shook my head, quickly dismissing his stares as an illusion.

  " What were you thinking about?"

   I had shrugged my shoulders casually, as if my thoughts weren't important stuff and had mentally waved them away.

   "Nothing."

   Gordo raised his eyebrow disbelievingly and I knew that I couldn't escape him. He knew me too well – despite the distant four years – to accept just a 'nothing' answer. And I caught the sight of his lips curling into a victorious smile when I rolled my eyes and let my defenses crumbled.

  "Okay. I was thinking about… how much I missed having you around."

    His smile widens and so did my eyes when I realized how that must've sound.

  " And… and Miranda. I missed you and Miranda." 

    I felt the blood creeping up my cheeks and I shrank my head deeper into the shadows so that he won't see the rosy color on my face, suddenly wishing that I should've never brought it up or opened up to him so quickly.

   But then again – I bit my lips – why should it bother me? It's not like I have any emotional attachment to him other than for the sake of friendship. And if he had mistaken my meaning, then maybe he should be the one blushing.

   But when I felt his hand slowly descending on mine, curling his fingers over my palm, I could've sworn that a red rose would pale in comparison to how I must've looked. 

   " I missed you to McGuire."

   I braved myself to face him again and I knew that he meant those words. And despite myself, I had smiled back and curled my fingers around his, as if reassuring him that I meant what I had said too. 

   " So… what _were_ you meaning to talk about?" I had said lightly, suddenly feeling that I was free to talk to him again – in a time when High School had never happened. 

   But I wasn't aware that it was all it took to break whatever curse that was hovering over us because the next thing I knew, we were talking about each other's lives so far when the other were missing out on it, about Gordo's new film project, Miranda's music career and even Kate's changes over the years. It had felt like we had talked about everything that needed to be said until a point that we were talking about the stars. 

    "Okay, if you're so smart then what's the name of that star?" 

    Both of us were sprawled across the lawn, looking up to the skies, reminding me of another time when we used to do this as I pointed out a star to him. And he had given an answer easily.

     " That's not a star. That's Saturn."

     I stared at the twinkling light, trying to see it as a planet instead, but speaking the truth… I had no idea how. 

    And without realizing it, I had let out a yawn – the fatigue of not sleeping having caught up to me. But I didn't really want to admit that I was tired. And I don't think that I would even care if I showed up to the Graduation Day with red eyes and bags. Because in that moment, as I continued to stare aimlessly at the stars, I wished for it to last forever. I had wanted to lay there in the grass with dark skies hovering above me and talking monosyllable words with Gordo.  

    But the thoughts were quickly broken from my mind when I heard shuffling beside me, only to see Gordo brushing himself off from the grass. He gave out his hand, expecting me to take it, but I had only looked back at him stubbornly, not wanting to use the energy to get up. 

    " Lizzie…"

     He trailed and had looked up towards my window where the light was still on and a song had poured through from the radio. I had almost forgotten that I had it on, and in that instant as I looked up at Gordo from the ground, I had a sudden ache to pull him back beside me. And just as the thought passed, I let out another yawn.       

     "Come on Lizzie. You'd better get back to your bed or else you'd be sleeping here."

       He chastised me as if I was still in preschool or something. But oddly enough, I didn't bother to quip him back and this time when he had offered me his hands, I didn't refuse.

     " What time is it anyway?" I had struggled to ask as I fought another yawn-attack and brushed the grass off my dress.

     "Umm… it's ten to four."

      Even as I stood beside him, I still had to look up to him. And in my eyes, I acknowledge how much Gordo had changed through the years. He is now a few inches taller from my head and he had kept his unruly curly hair short under his baseball cap. His built are still gangly though but he had carried it fashionably with his new dress sense. And in the early hours of the morning, dark stubs on his chin were starting to show. But despite the physical changes, I could always recognize his warm blue-gray eyes and his loop-sided smile. 

      " You'd better start going too. You have a speech to get prepared for in the morning."

*~ _So denied, so I lied, are you the now-or-never kind_

_In a day and a day love, I'm gonna be gone for good again_

_Are you willing to be had, are you cool with just tonight_

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well. _~*

   Under the faint light from my bedroom window, I caught sight of Gordo's features contorting as his wrinkles thicken and the smile faded from his lips. 

       " What's wrong?"

        His mouth twisted into a silent turmoil as a shadow fell in his eyes, heavy with words I can't read. And following his lead, I started to worry.

       " Gordo, is there something you're not telling me?"

        I tried to push him for an answer, searching his eyes and trying to decipher the words in them. But just as I was about to dig deeper, it seems like a wall had came down and he had only looked back at me stonily.

       " Nothing." Was all he had to say, and I knew that I couldn't get more than that. 

*~ _Here's to the night we felt alive_

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_

_Here's to goodbye_

_Tomorrow gonna come too soon. _~*

       I was hurt at his short forth coming but I had accepted it nonetheless.

      " So…"

   We stood in awkward silence, both deep in thoughts – I was nursing the subtle hurt and Gordo has obviously big things in mind.

    "Yeah… I think I should go."

    But he didn't move or made an effort to move his feet. And I had silently wished that he would stay. That he would change his mind and talk to me again. That he would lean on my shoulders and trust me enough to listen to him. And I wished more than anything of the above that I had the guts to say it to him. 

    "Yeah… and… I'd better get to bed. Don't want to be a fashion-repeater, do I?"

     We had both shared a nervous laugh, reminded of our Junior High Graduation when  – to my utmost nightmare – I had worn the same clothes as the day before. And almost instinctively like a natural order of my life, the images of that year in 8th Grade came to me in a flood of remembrance. Of a tighter friendships with both Miranda and Gordo, of my obsession with Ethan, of my first real kiss and the trip to Rome that followed, and of Gordo's eyes on me and having the knowledge that he had liked, liked me. 

     I had mentally shaken my head. Why – through the four years – am I still haunted by that thought? Of his stares and obvious hints that I should've noticed if I had paid attention? Why now, of all time? Could I have… like him still?

    The questions tumbled and rolled over in my head until a point that I felt sick. But somehow, (and I don't know how) I had a feeling that I knew the answers already. That it had been pretty obvious in the way that I see him now, and those 'sixth sense' that had been giving me the creeps. And I suddenly knew why I had _felt_ it. It had been him all along. I would've openly smiled like an idiot if the weight of the situation hadn't bothered me. And I knew what I had to do. I had to ask him. It all depended on him, on that night.

*~ _Put your name on the line, along with place and time_

_Want to stay, not to go; I want to ditch the logical_

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well. _~*

    "Gordo?"

     I had to squeak before Gordo had the chance to start making a move home. And I had gathered all the courage I had to try approach the question without scaring him away. 

   "Have you…? Have you kept secrets from me before?"

    My voice faltered as I watched his face for a subtle expression that he might answer me straightforwardly and honestly. But as the seconds drew to a minute, and after a very neutral reaction from him, the hope was quickly fading. But I still tried to push though.

   "In 8th Grade perhaps? Anything that you might forgot to tell me?"

    It was as if watching a bulb being switched on, as a light dawned in his eyes. He had turned to face me, and I saw it in his expression that he knew what I meant. 

    "Whatever it is, I think you already knew about it."

     I bit my lips, restraining myself from spilling out to him what I already knew. But his answer wasn't really what I was looking for. I wanted him to actually say it. I wanted his to say that yes, he had liked, liked me back in 8th Grade. And truthfully, I wanted him to say more that he like me still. But that would be asking too much from him. Maybe just a confession will do. I just need to know that right from him.

    And that night, I thought that I would never get the chance to hear it, that it would be over for good when I continued to stare with a heavy heart as he turned his heel and his back to me, and had walked out of my backyard. 

*~ _All my time is froze in motion_

_Can't I stay an hour or two or more_

_Don't let me let you go. _~*

    I felt the tears stung my eyes and I had blinked them away confusingly. Why does it hurt to see him leave? As far as I know, there was and had never been anything between us other than the basis of friendship and for the sake of '_liking_' each other. But could it be more? And even as I watched him leave my backyard, it had felt like he's walking away out of my life. 

   And without having any consciousness of my action, and with a choked voice, I had managed to stop his trek (which is a good thing).

   "Why?"

    There was a dead silence at his end and I hadn't expected him to give an answer to that. I was almost resolved that there was nothing to be done with him anymore too. But he didn't continue his steps out of the backyard also, and I took this chance to press him on.

    "Why didn't you just tell me about it?"

    At this, he had turned his body a hundred eighty degrees immediately and I caught the pulsing anger and resignation in his eyes so intense that it scared me.

    "Because it wouldn't matter anymore."

     I fought my own anger that was starting to rage inside of me.

    "What if it does?"

     There was a flicker in his expression – hope? – before the look of boredom and callousness was pasted back on his face. 

     "I'm going home." 

      But I wasn't about to let him walked away from me that easily. 

      I had marched up to him just as he was about to step into the shadows of the tall fences bordering the backyard and pulled his shoulder roughly, so that he would be facing me again. And right there and then, as if an unnatural power was possessing me, I planted my lips on his; out of anger, remorse, passion, unresolved emotions and that little instinct that had fired me up to do such thing. And I was surprised when he had kissed me back, roughly at first before it grew softer and more delicate. And at that point, I had resolved to myself that there was nothing more perfect than that. 

*~ _Here's to the night we felt alive_

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_

_Here's to goodbye_

_Tomorrow gonna come too soon. _~*


End file.
